![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() We experience it in the early stages of dating, when commitment to another feels as if it might come with a loss of self. We experience it with our friends, the ones we don’t really want to see but end up feeling obligated to invite to our wedding. We experience it with our children, those beings who teach us a love we’ve never known as well as an unparalleled frustration that can incite harmful thoughts. We feel the tug between the parts of us that are forever entwined with them and the parts of us that want to separate ourselves. We experience it with our parents and our siblings. “Relational Ambivalence” is the experience of contradictory thoughts and feelings-of love and hate, attraction and disgust, excitement and fear, contempt and envy-toward someone with whom we are in a relationship. How often have we said and heard these phrases? How often have we said and heard them within one relationship? For those of us who are painfully aware of what makes our loved ones difficult to live with…what do we think makes it hard to live with us? “I want more time together.” “I need space.” “I want to spend forever with you.” “I can’t do this anymore.” “That is so thoughtful of you.” “How could you do that?” “I love you no matter what.” “You’re driving me crazy.” ![]()
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